Who are we looking at? Everything here is optional. Even with no name at all, the pattern check below still works — and it's the more reliable half.
Name or username they use
Usernames on specific apps Add the exact username per app. Each one is searched separately, including scam and catfish threads on Reddit.
Where did you meet? A dating app Instagram TikTok Snapchat Discord A game Reddit or a forum Facebook X / Twitter A DM out of nowhere Somewhere else
What do they say about themselves?
A photo they sent you (optional) Checked for the tells of stock, staged, and AI-generated pictures — then deleted. It's never stored or used to identify anyone.
What's actually happened Tick anything that's true. Nothing here is an accusation — a few of these are perfectly normal on their own.
Proving they're real Whether you've ever confirmed this person is who they say.
Has never done a live video call with me Makes excuses when I ask for video or a phone call Only ever sends photos, never spontaneous ones I asked for We've never met in person and plans keep falling through Pushed to move to WhatsApp / Telegram / text almost immediately
Money and assets Anything financial that has come up between you.
Has asked me for money, a gift card, or a transfer Had a sudden emergency (medical, legal, stuck abroad, customs fee) Talks about crypto, trading, or an investment I should try Asked me to receive or forward money or packages for them Displays a lot of wealth or a luxury lifestyle
How they treat you Patterns in how they respond to your boundaries and your people.
Wants the relationship kept secret from my friends or family Gets upset about the time I spend with other people Reacts badly when I say no or set a boundary Pressured me for explicit photos or video Has threatened me, or threatened to share something about me Wants my location, passwords, or constant check-ins
Their story The details of who they say they are.
Is overseas — military, oil rig, doctor, contractor, or similar Is widowed, or has a child they're raising alone Details of their story have changed or don't add up Their profile is new, or has few photos, friends, or history Their writing doesn't match where they say they're from
Pace of the relationship How fast things moved, and who set the speed.
Said they loved me, or called me their soulmate, very early Messages constantly, all day, from the very beginning Talked about marriage, moving, or a shared future quickly Something feels off and I can't explain why